Questions I am shocked that I ask

When you hear your Husband walk into the bathroom where your 2 year old is, holler "Grrrrrrrrr! Why do you have poop on your hands? What is happening here?!", then your child replies "Cause there's no toilet paper." What is your reaction supposed to be? A. Run in and help B. Cry C. stay far away. I chose stay in the other  room and pretend not to hear any of it.....
The fact that we just had to ask him "Hey did you wipe poopy on anything in the bathroom?" Is concerning and disturbing. 

My two year old is a constant source of mischief and mess. He gets into everything and is tough as nails. Sometimes it is maddening and sometimes stressful....but it's always so very Garrison and for that, I love it. 


My cup really runs over....everyday.
Shana

It's Been A While....Just where did that TP go?!

Well it has been quite a while, but here is a story.
That isn't to say that blog-worthy things don't happen nearly everyday around here, because they do (At least in my opinion) but I just haven't sat down and wrote it all down in a while. Quite a while.
However, my cup still runneth over and I am enjoying every second of it.

Lindsey, one of my best friends and I took the kids to see the Zoo Lights. Rode the train, did some crafts at the parakeet habitat and fed the animals in the petting zoo (all 3 goats that the petting zoo consisted of). We had a blast and so did the kids! 

However, there were a few highlights...

My boys (and I) both forgot their jackets and it was like ice cold. But I did not realize this until we get out at the zoo an hour and a half away from home. We did have gloves though, for what that was worth. I had to put my fleece on Lawson and go into the zoo store and buy a "Montgomery Zoo" fleece for G in size 24 months. A souvenir, I suppose. And what did I tell my poor 5 year old? I said "I bet next time you will remember to grab your jacket when I tell you to." Yup, he's only 5 ;)

 Then we have to wait in line for a good 30 minutes. Lindsey's group of girls were wonderful..my boys, well Lawson was jumping up and down and punching and doing karate and all the usual very excited little boy "stuff". Can't tell you know many times I said "calm down" as he was hitting a stranger with his karate chops. Garrison was a whole other ball of fire. He was hungry, tired and wanted to "ride the train", which he said approximately 102 times. He had about 5 meltdowns, one a screaming "I want hot chocolate" one, in the time we waited. Then of all things, about 30 or so people decide to skip us in line while we were waiting at the little snack bar they had set up, still in the line, for our hot chocolate. I nearly lost it. Person after person just bypassing us, I couldn't take it. So I start "loud talking", "we ARE in line! We are in line!!" One guy stops, looks at me, and shrugs. Seriously! So I snatch up G, tell Lindsey to wait in line and fast walk to get our place saved before 30 more get in front of us. I couldn't believe it!! What is wrong with people?! Oh and at this point G thinks I have abandoned the hot chocolate and starts wailing for it. There are stares. He is inconsolable. I just hold him and he throws a tantrum. The fact that Lindsey will be rejoining us in line with his hot chocolate is lost on him. 

Finally, after someone in the snack bar had to go down to the river to get the hot water for the hot chocolate and then heat it in the slowest way possible and maybe even milk a cow for the whipped cream on top,  she arrives with the hot chocolate. She cuts in front of some people to do it, people who don't know that she actually had already been in line and got bypassed by about 30 other people, and joins us. I almost dare anyone to say something. I would have set them straight real fast. Then the hot chocolate is too hot to drink right away. G cries again. Have I ever mentioned how little patience my boys have? Maybe it is just a toddler thing. Or maybe it is something they got from me...

I give up and tell him "Well go ahead, but it is going to burn your mouth" and give him a tiny sip. He does a full body shake and says "hot!" Um, yeah that's what I tried to tell you. But he's 2, so what do you do? 

I just let him go for it. 

We finally make it onto the train and everyone's happy. It really was fun.

It's after the train ride that I realize why G has been walking so slow the whole night and kept losing a shoe...his shoes were on the wrong feet! No wonder. I just let him go as is. A little late in the game to worry about it now. 

We end up staying at the zoo so long that we just have to get some drive thru dinner instead of the "special" dinner we had planned. Some want Wendy's and some want McD's, so we go to both. Whatever makes them happy, right? They all eat, or don't in Garrison's case, and all fall asleep on the way home. It was silent except Lindsey and I lacking. Much different from the ride up there. 

But the best part of the story was taking both of my boys to the tiny little stalls in the freezing cold bathroom. Three of us couldn't fit into one so Lawson went in one and G and I in the other. The whole time I am hollering over to Lawson not to go out without me and stay close and make sure to wash his hands well and freaking out the he may decide to walk out with out me or someone may grab him while I am helping G tee-tee and taking my turn (darn hot chocolate!). While I am tee-teeing Garrison is playing with the toilet paper. (Keep in mind these stalls are tiny, like the kind you can barely be in while opening the door to get out type.) G is right next to me unrolling toilet paper and putting it onto the floor, or so I thought. Upon standing up I realize he had been putting it into the toilet behind my rear end. Ugh. Whatever, I quickly pull up my fleece lined leggings, as I am literally freezing my booty off, and put the long strip of toilet paper that is half in and half out of the toilet all the way in and flush. Usher him out, wash hands and rejoin Lindsey and the girls. It felt like forever later. It isn't until I get home late that night and go to put on my pjs that I realize where the rest of that strip of TP went. I start to pull of my fleece leggings and out comes a long strip of toilet paper. NO LIE! I had pulled it up with my leggings!!! I remember wondering about that strip of TP and how it was the way it was but being seriously cold and concerned about my 5 year old outside of the tiny stall, who I am hollering "are you ok? Don't you go close to that door! Don't touch things!" at all the while, I was less than concerned about figuring it out. Well now I know. 

I immediately started laughing. Like the border-line insane laugh. Chuck, who was in bed reading, just looked at me. I hold up the TP. He asks "what the heck is that?" 

How do I even explain?! 

But I did, I tell him the whole story. He just shakes his head and laughs. His usual response. 

I can't believe I am telling this story....ok, ok I can as I am not one to keep a good story to myself, but I am quite embarrassed. 

Modesty or lack thereof

So people have always told me when you have kids your sense of shame, shyness, modesty, whatever you want to call it goes out the window. I have to say for me that was true to a certain extent. I am a somewhat reserved person about many things and not so much about others. It just depends. I am not shy at all. I am slightly modest about some things and more modest about others. I can be embarrassed fairly easily depending on what it is pertaining to.  Having said all that, I must have hit rock bottom since giving birth to two boys and I will tell you why. Last week Lawson and I went to Subway. One of the 5 times we went. No joke, we eat there a lot. It wasn’t super busy so we were just going to sit down and eat but I had to potty first. While they were making our sandwiches (um, yes Barbara knows exactly what Lawson and I want on our sandwiches because it is always exactly the same and consists of no sauces and his is just meat and cheese. Haha. Barb also keeps an eye on him for me:) I let Lawson wait out by the drinks but told him I was going to leave the door unlocked in case he needed me and I go on in. The only  people in there was a group of guys in line behind us but I was pretty sure they all saw me going in. Hmmm.  I am mid tee tee when the door opens wide and a guy is standing there with big, wide eyes frozen. It seemed like he was frozen like that for 5 minutes as I was just sitting there, on the potty, like “um, hey”. It took him forever to snap out of it, but he finally did, said “Um, sorry, sorry” and shut the door. I honestly just had to laugh. I commenced with the flushing, hand washing and worked up the courage to walk outside and he was standing there. He apologized again. I said “Oh, that’s ok. I would have locked it but I didn’t want to leave my little boy out here and him need me and not be able to get in.” I think he said something like, “Yeah, we are just a little closer now. Haha”.

Honestly, I wasn’t even that embarrassed. Truly. I probably should have been. Pre-two kids Shana probably would have wanted to just leave Subway without a sandwich to avoid seeing him but now, meh. No big deal. So what, I mean I even had on a long shirt. I will say Chuck laughed hysterically when I told him about it. Especially that all I said to the guy while he was standing there with the door open was “um, hey”  and gave a little wave.

My children have helped make me who I am today. They have made me stronger and different from who I was before them. The mere act of having them has taught me that some things just don't really matter and we shouldn't let things get to us. Beauty is skin deep, our bodies are merely flesh, and no use crying over spilled milk (or a stranger seeing you pee).

I hope I teach them as much as they teach me.

My Cup Runneth Over!

 

Spring Break Day 3

Spring Break Day 3: Road Trip
So today we took a mini road trip to pick up T-ball jerseys. As a result, Lawson, Garrison and I are probably now and forever banned from Village Jewelry and Sports. IF we aren't, we should be. There is probably a warning poster hanging in the employee break room (yes I know that there is one, through the door that reads Employees Only, Garrison went in it and I ran in after him) with a photo of me and my two darling hooligans. I imagine the poster reads something like this:

" The Tait Gang.  
Insert picture of adorable little family here :)
 If approached by this lady and two small boys, use extreme caution. They go from calm to typhoon in approximately 60 seconds flat. The youngest of the gang tries his best to break things. Do not allow him access to any breakables, under any circumstances, ever.
The older of the boys should not be allowed access to brooms or broom handles. Do not question why, just do not take any chances with this one.
 If the Mother of the gang attempts to ask you for assistance, feign ignorance or even a lack of knowledge of the english language. If possible, run in the opposite direction.
When in doubt, duck in cover"

This was my first trip to this store. They had a lot of cool stuff and the people were super friendly and helpful. Poor them!
They sell tons of jewelry. I mean lots of glass jewelry display cases. G decided he was going to hit a glass jewelry case, hard I should add, with a hanger the cashier had just laid down. It all seemed like it was happening in slow motion...He hit it, the girl's mouth fell open, I said "Nnoooo" and as I am saying it and grabbing for the hanger he starts to run like the little criminal he is, hitting the display off and on the whole way down, me running after. I am sure it was quite the scene to behold. What was Lawson, the good example Big Bubba doing you ask? Laughing, a lot. Heck, I might have been to if I had not been responsible for it.

I have been jokingly keeping a score as my FB status for the past couple of days, Spring Break VS Me. So far for Monday and Tuesday it was Spring Break-2 Momma-0
Let's go ahead and say
Spring Break-3 Momma-0
Hey, there is always tomorrow. I am pretty sure I am going to make a comeback.

My Cup Runneth Over!!!

A First...and a Last, Hopefully

Today was a  day…a typical day with two boys who are 4 and one and a half. Although it was a very “typical” day, something happened that is anything but typical. At least I hope it will not occur again..ever.  I am going to tell you this, but please do not judge us. Believe me, it shocked me, too. However, it is definitely worth remembering and I am hoping by putting this out there, someone will send me a message saying “Don’t worry, you are not alone. My so and so did this when they were little.” So, I am holding y’all to that. I expect a message in my inbox tomorrow, guys.

Let me set the scene:

I am in the kitchen doing something, I have since forgotten what with all of the trauma of today, and the boys are in Lawson’s room. I hear Lawson go into the bathroom with Garrison following. I didn’t think anything of it as it is a very regular thing. Garrison tends to follow his Big Brother around a lot. Lawson hollers at me “Mommm, Garrison just exploded tee-tee everywhere.” My thoughts: “Hmmm, what?!”    So I hollered back, “What do you mean?!” His response, “He pulled his pants down and tee-teed everywhere.” I stop what I am doing and start thinking  “Ok, Lawson  was just tee-teeing right? Garrison has on pants and a onesie. How did he manage to do that?!” (No I didn’t immediately go in there, I needed time to process. Haha!) I finally make my way in there and Lawson is still standing in front of the potty , Garrison is standing in a puddle of tee tee just playing around like it is the funniest thing. Then I notice the fact that his pants are still on and there is no way he undid his onesie to pull his diaper and pants down to tee tee on the floor, or “explode it all over” as Lawson described it. What the heck just happened? That is about the time that it hit me…Lawson has been really bad about doing something and then blaming Baby Brother who can’t exactly deny it yet. I know he didn’t….but yeah, I think he did. He tee teed on his brother! When I asked him, he denied it. That is when I called in the reinforcements, Daddy. I hollered “Chuck, we have a situation in here.” All the while, I am trying to get Garrison out of the pee puddle and undressed to clean him up. Chuck came in and Lawson tried to give him the same story, Garrison did it himself. Chuck told him if he just told him the truth, he wouldn’t get a spanking this time.  So Lawson, after verifying that a spanking was in fact not in his future, admitted that he did it. HE PEED ON HIS BROTHER. Chuck said, “Son, why on Earth would you do that??!!” Oh Lord, talk about frustrated. Neither Chuck or I had the words. Apparently he was trying to sword fight with someone who was unarmed for battle. I have no idea which part is more disturbing, the fact that Lawson did it and thought it was OK, knew to blame his brother who can’t deny it yet, or that Garrison thought it was funny.

What am I going to do with them?

Never a dull moment at this house…

My Cup Runneth Over

~Shana

Dating a much younger guy

Why yes, it is true...I am dating a much younger guy.  In fact, he is one of the cutest guys I have ever seen, very intelligent, funny, outgoing, and he adores me. He lets me pick his outfits for him, he tells me that I am pretty, he opens doors for me, he loves to dance and he asks me very interesting questions that require me to think deeply. He is quite the intellectual, for his age anyway. Never mind the fact that he doesn't own his own car, in fact he can't even drive, that his bedtime is 8:30 or that I have to help him bathe. In spite of the occasional fit he is an all-around catch.  (Hopefully this doesn't make me sound like a complete weirdo ) Our last date was this past Saturday and we went to see Disney On Ice. Why yes, I am referring to my 4 year old son as my date.We had not been on a Mommy-Son date in a while, but it something that I think is very important for both of us. We are able to spend one-on-one time together with the focus being solely on him.  We were both pretty excited about it. I know I had better cherish this while it lasts because one day very soon he will probably make a yucky face and say "No way, we can go to such and such, but it is not DATE." So, while he is still little and innocent, I am taking all the dates I can get. What girl wouldn't with this guy?

As for the date, it was GREAT! We got up early and got dressed nice, it was a date after all, and headed to Birmingham for the day. We went to buy him some new tennis shoes, went shopping at the Galleria, went to watch Disney on Ice at the BJCC and after went to eat at Johnny Rocket's (his choice), to Starbucks for a latte (my choice) and then to Toys R Us (yeah, his choice).

While we were at The Galleria we did a little shopping for Baby Brother at Gymboree. As I was paying, my date AKA Lawson kept running back and forth behind me and smacking me on the butt. After about the 3rd time I turned around and said, "Lawson, stop hitting me." HIs reply, "But, I am spanking you." To which I replied with something to the extent of "But you don't spank Momma, I do the spanking." He then informs the sales clerk that "Sometimes my Daddy spanks my Mommy!" I just stood there in shock. The way he said it sounded dirty, which in reality it wasn't and he was referring to Chuck asking Lawson if Mommy needs a spanking for Fill In the Blank with whatever I have done/not done that day, as a joke. The sales lady's eyes just got really big and to her credit, she didn't even crack a smile. She just kept right on folding and bagging. I, on the other hand, was turning pretty red.

On to the show....Warning lots of sapiness ahead
Disney On Ice was wonderful! It really was. I didn't expect to enjoy it quite as much as I did. I knew I would like it because of the music and ice skating, but I didn't expect it to be quite the show it was. I mean Aladdin and Jasmine flying through the air on a carpet that was hanging from the ceiling, Peter Pan and Tinkerbell flying through the air, and all of the many props that made the rink look like it was a scene right in the movie. It really was mesmorizing.
On the way in, Lawson could not stand still. He was so excited he was just bouncing everywhere and chattering. Some of the time I don't think he was actually making coherent sentences he was so excited. When he gets really excited and wants to say a lot at one time, it is like his brain is overloaded and he stutters. Wow, was he doing that. "Mom, Mom, Mom, I want, I want, I want a sword as a souvenir!" It was precious.

My absolute favorite part of the whole day was when Peter Pan and Captain Hook came out. Lawson had been telling me the whole way there that Peter Pan was his favorite so he was just waiting to see him. Well, when Peter Pan came zooming out, flying through the air Lawson's little face was priceless. It is something I never will forget for as long as I live and it was worth ever penny we paid for those tickets. In fact, I wouldn't take a million dollars for that memory. He had this look of innocent amazement and wonder. His eyes were huge and his smile was from ear to ear. I sat there cherishing every second of it and wishing that Chuck was there to see it, too. When he finally turned to me and said simply, "Peter Pan!!", I actually teared up. For whatever reason, right there during Disney On Ice I was overwhelmed with how much joy my children bring to my life. How innocent they are and how much I love experiencing new things with them. It is almost like getting to do them all over again for the first time, only better. I have always wanted to take my children to try new things, to see new things, to experience and live life to the fullest and this little trip just reminded me of how special it is.

For dinner, we went to Johnny Rocket's at The Summit. Lawson was pretty excited that he got to drink a milkshake with dinner, it was a special day you know. We sat outside with several other tables full. At the table next to us was a man with his two sons. Of course, Lawson being Lawson, started up a conversation with the man about how many burgers he could eat. He was pretty interested in what constituted a double cheeseburger and if there was such thing as a double cheeseburger with no cheese, so he proceeded to ask the man if he thought there was such thing as a burger with "100 meats on it". Apparently the concept of double and triples was pretty amazing and needed to be explored further. So the man starts talking to him, as do his two sons. Somehow one of the little boys and Lawson get onto the subject of cookies and candy and the little boy says "well, I am a cookie monster because I eat all the cookies." Lawson comes back with "Well I am a candy monster because I eat all the candy." They giggle, hee hee, silly boys. Then Lawson pipes up with, loudly I might add, "Well, my Daddy says my Momma is the money monster because she spends all the money!" (which incidentally, his Daddy didn't start but his GG (my Daddy) did but Lawson misspoke, which he then corrected by repeating it) The guy just smiles and kind of chuckles, but the older couple at the other table next to us laugh out loud. I just crawl under the table, or at least that is what I wanted to do...I think I said something like, "Haha! Yeah, that's funny but let's not tell EVERYONE that, ok?" 
Sheesh, was it an interesting date. He just better be glad he's as cute as he is.

My oldest son, who is still willing to go on a date with his ole' Momma, is so much fun to be around.

My Cup Runneth Over!
~Shana~

Revision: I felt it was important to add...
Does the fact that I found Peter Pan attractive concern you? Should it concern me? I kept thinking, Peter Pan is soo cute! And then I would think, OK Shana get a grip you weirdo. He is Peter Pan. He was a cutie pie, though.

My addiction to Coke and Adam Levine

Yes, it is true. I am addicted to Coca Cola and I will explain now....

Today at CVS, I was reminded of why I sometimes like to run into a store, SOLO. I was also reminded of why I am addicted to Coca Cola (Not even the diet variety, but the full sugar, full calorie variety that makes it impossible for me to lose weight.)  Ashley, if you are reading this, you saw me…You understand. First off, why do I consistently get the buggy with the torn seat belt, with at least one of the sides of the buckle missing? EVERY SINGLE TIME.  I had a buggy full of candy, Hot Wheels, cookies, chocolate milk, and the one important thing that I actually went in there for, pain medicine.  While I was attempting to pay, Lawson is cruising the candy assortment and asking for everything. He finally settled on chocolate coins that he had to trade one of his Hot Wheels in for. Garrison is pulling a nice variety of Bubble Gum, chocolate coins, and ring pops out and throwing them on the floor. Me consistently saying “Garrison NO! No!” doesn’t seem to make him hesitate at all. Sigh. I finally finish paying, snatch Garrison up who is making a run for the door, go back and put away all the candy that is strewn all over the floor and throw it in the boxes where it goes, and hightail out of there to  load the boys up into Chuck’s big, jacked up truck. Since I had to park in the very last open parking place that was up against the median and a tree was in the way of the passenger side, I had to load up the bags on the front passenger seat, climb in on the back Driver’s side, over Lawson’s car seat, all while holding GW and hollering at Lawson not to move a muscle to put GW in his carseat. I buckled him in, climbed back over and out, and got Lawson in and buckled in. Then I finally loaded up and headed home (With a big coke in my hand). Thus, why I drink coke. It is simply not acceptable or practical to drink wine during the day. I like  wine, it helps to relax me and is a stress reliever. Since society tends to frown on day drinking (especially while taking care of children: ), I turn to Coke instead. It is my replacement stress-reliever.(Totally joking about the day drinking thing…I would never do such a thing, even if it is tempting sometimes ;)  I have to admit, I do LOVE Coca Cola.  When I have had a bad day, spent most of the morning saying “Boys, keep your hands to yourselves. Garrison, don’t bite your brother. Lawson, don’t push your brother down, again!”, I just look forward to a cold, iced Coke. Is it that so wrong?!

 

I am also addicted to Adam Levine, mainly on The Voice. Chuck and I LOVE The Voice. It is the best show. It makes us laugh and it makes us (me, honestly) cry. We LOVE to watch Cee-Lo, Adam, and Blake's witty banter. X-Tina too, but only because she is funny with the other three. I have convinced myself that if Blake and I were to meet, we would become BFFs and if Adam and I were to meet, he would totally want to break up my marriage. (A girl can dream, right?! That's not weird at all....) But really, they seem so genuinely nice. They also seem like they are really friends in like, REAL life.  Even Lawson gets into The Voice. We all sit down after dinner in the evenings, either before or after baths depending, for a half hour to an hour of The Voice. We love it. Lawson makes little comments too, like "Ugh, Christina!...." and "What, nobody turned?!"  and my favorite "Oh, Cee Lo is so crazy." He is such a cool little 4 year old. Eventually we may even be caught up on all of the DVRed episodes we have to watch. That is our goal before the end of the show anyway. It is such a simple little pleasure but I adore when we manage to fit it in before bedtime.

 

jessie posted this to my FB wall today and it really made my afternoon. Puh-lease be sure and watch it. I hope this link works....If not holler at me and I will fix it.

 http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xsw18k_parents-rap-about-maintaining-their-household_music

This couple could BE me and Chuck, if we were funny and/or musically talented at all. We can totally relate, as most people with kids can. I remember the days when I could wear white and not have 10 stains on it by the end of the day...like a nice mixture of  chocolate, juice, food of some type, and  boogers...yes, there are always boogers. I *think* I used to look nice, have makeup on, hair done, and a complete outfit on including accessories. Now I rarely wear makeup anymore, unless you see me at a special event like  a wedding or something it is unlikely that I will have makeup on. I traded it in for a little more sleep in the mornings. I also wear Nike shorts a lot...I used to never wear T-shirts anywhere. It wasn't that I had anything against them, that just wasn't a "go-to" for me. Now I wear Nike shorts and T's at least 4 days out of the week. I also wear a lot of pony tails. But I am OK with that.

I also can not tell y'all how many times I use the "Count to three" thing. ALL THE TIME. Lawson knows three means trouble. I usually only make it to two though...which is better for everyone. Garrison on the other hand....three means nothing to him.

Grateful for laughter and simple pleasures...

My Cup Runneth Over
~Shana~