Tuesday, August 11, 2015

My 2nd Turn at Being Kim Kardashian

As most of you know from The Facebook, I dressed up as Kim K for Halloween last year. I'm a sucker for a costume and I adore makeup so trying to stuff a pillow up my sausage-casing-like dress , rolled socks into my bra (ashamed to admit the number of socks used there...) and highlighting and contouring my face just like the YouTube video said Kim does, was beyond fun. As for my Kanye, well I just had a mask printed for him as that was a tad harder.

So that was my first time looking like Kim. I am very afraid that the second will come tomorrow, after I drop my babied boy off for his first day of 4K at "the big school where Bubba goes". You see , I am very afraid I am going to cry (hopefully after leaving and not in front of parents, children, teachers, Etc) and not just any cry but that hard, sobbing, contorted face, snotty nose cry. You know, The Ugly Cry. The one that Kim is famous for (that and her ability to use her butt to serve Thanksgiving dinner off of). There are memes everywhere making fun of it. It's epic. Please, please just let me turn into Kim K for the second time while I'm alone.
While perusing Facebook tonight, I came across an article that threatened to turn me into her tonight... It was one of those articles written by a Mother that causes other Mothers to think of their own little ones and their hearts to ache at how quickly they grow up and become independent. I simultaneously love and hate those. This particular article was the Mother talking to her child's most cherished childhood toy, or lovie, the blanket or animal they are most attached to. It was a bunny and the little boy would be leaving him behind to go to Kindergarten. While G doesn't have an animal he's attached to he is very, very attached to his "blank-blank". Blank-Blank is a ratty, torn baby blanket that was given to us by Miss Sue Gaines for a baby shower gift. It (was) the softest, sweetest blue and white knit blanket with his name appliqu├ęd on it. Since he was tiny he has loved to chew on the corners and roll up into a ball under it. To this day, he does not use a cover at night , only his blank blank and he chews the corner until he falls asleep. He has even worked finger holes into two edges so it looks like a mixture of mittens and blanket. He sticks his hands in and rolls up in it. It travels where he does. It has been drug around, thrown up on, spilled on and chewed on to the point that it is brown and ratty on the edges and has a distinct odor even though he gets a bath as often as I can sneak him in. (Yes, he's a he and we refer to it accordingly). In fact, Chuck has (not so) affectionately renamed him "Stank Blank". He gives Grandma the Heebee Geebees. Our Aunt, who's a Pediatrician, voices much concern over the bacteria and germ situation going on there. I might be the only person willing to actually cover up with (Stank) Blank-Blank when G offers him to me. When I say I'm cold,  he covers me up with him. It's unsanitary and stinky and yet I love it. I have a deep love for Blank-Blank just like G does. As long as he's around , my baby still has a little bit of baby left in him. So it is slightly heartbreaking to me that tomorrow morning Blank-Blank will stay behind, with me. He can't go to Pre-K with G...and neither can I. It's a milestone and I'm not sure that Blank Blank or I are ready. G seems fine with the fact that Blank Blank can't go. His Bubba will be at the same school now. But what about me and Blank Blank? Will we be fine? Or will I be the Kim Kardashian-ugly crying lady in her car sobbing into the worlds most loved, grimiest, cherished, stinkiest scrap of blanket? I guess time will tell...

My Cup Runneth Over,
Shana