Wednesday, January 18, 2017

Boy Momisms

As a Mom of two boys, I catch myself saying so many things that I would have never dreamed I would be saying on a day to day basis. Some examples:

  • Please aim your toots somewhere else
  • No, we don't toot on other people
  • Why would you pee on the wall? What do you mean "it slipped?"
  • Please don't pee on anything
  • Why can't you just use the bathroom inside and not go out in the yard to pee? That's what toilets are made for
  • Yes you can ride your power wheels but please, please don't run over anyone...again
  • No sir, we do not run over guests with a four wheeler
  • I'm sorry you drove into the garage wall, you shouldn't be driving your four wheeler so crazy
  • While watching a stick fight...just don't hit each other in the face or head, mmmkay?
  • After attempting to break up yet another fight...Y'all, don't come crying to me when one of you gets hurt. It's all fun and games until you make each other mad. And you know not to hit in the stomach or below the belt. (One punched the other in the stomach and make him puke🙄)
  • How in the world did all that toothpaste just "explode" all over the wall?
  • Please don't toot at your brother at the dinner table
  • Please use your fork when you eat mashed potatoes 
  • No sword fighting (no actual swords are involved here...if you know what I mean)
  • Let's not jump from the top bunk to the bottom again...remember the last time you jumped into the ceiling fan. 
  • Yes, you have to wear pants to school
  • Yes, you have to wear shoes to school
  • No, I don't even care if you don't wear shoes or a shirt to grandmas house
  • Do not lick the freezer doors...even if your brother did dare you to (while at Wal Mart)
  • Yes, I realize your brother actually hit you with a real light saber and it actually hurt and you were only shooting imaginary bullets at him, but that's kind of how imaginary stuff works, ya know??
  • You know, I don't know if Ninjas are exceptionally good at dodgeball but I would think so
  • While hearing all 3 guys discussing Star Wars details and then asking me something about it..."I honestly have no idea what y'all are even saying right now"
  • Please don't use your pencil as a nose least get a tissue
  • I know, it's not fair that girls get to sit down and rest while tee-teeing
  • Yeah, it would be cool if you were named Luke and your Daddy could say "Luke, I am your father" all the time. 
  • Yes the movie title Fight Club does sound a lot like our house
  • I am sorry your name is lame. I apologize for not naming you Luke...again

And the list goes on....

Because my cup runneth over