Sunday, December 15, 2013

It's Been A While....Just where did that TP go?!

Well it has been quite a while, but here is a story.
That isn't to say that blog-worthy things don't happen nearly everyday around here, because they do (At least in my opinion) but I just haven't sat down and wrote it all down in a while. Quite a while.
However, my cup still runneth over and I am enjoying every second of it.

Lindsey, one of my best friends and I took the kids to see the Zoo Lights. Rode the train, did some crafts at the parakeet habitat and fed the animals in the petting zoo (all 3 goats that the petting zoo consisted of). We had a blast and so did the kids! 
However, there were a few highlights...
My boys (and I) both forgot their jackets and it was like ice cold. But I did not realize this until we get out at the zoo an hour and a half away from home. We did have gloves though, for what that was worth. I had to put my fleece on Lawson and go into the zoo store and buy a "Montgomery Zoo" fleece for G in size 24 months. A souvenir, I suppose. And what did I tell my poor 5 year old? I said "I bet next time you will remember to grab your jacket when I tell you to." Yup, he's only 5 ;)

 Then we have to wait in line for a good 30 minutes. Lindsey's group of girls were boys, well Lawson was jumping up and down and punching and doing karate and all the usual very excited little boy "stuff". Can't tell you know many times I said "calm down" as he was hitting a stranger with his karate chops. Garrison was a whole other ball of fire. He was hungry, tired and wanted to "ride the train", which he said approximately 102 times. He had about 5 meltdowns, one a screaming "I want hot chocolate" one, in the time we waited. Then of all things, about 30 or so people decide to skip us in line while we were waiting at the little snack bar they had set up, still in the line, for our hot chocolate. I nearly lost it. Person after person just bypassing us, I couldn't take it. So I start "loud talking", "we ARE in line! We are in line!!" One guy stops, looks at me, and shrugs. Seriously! So I snatch up G, tell Lindsey to wait in line and fast walk to get our place saved before 30 more get in front of us. I couldn't believe it!! What is wrong with people?! Oh and at this point G thinks I have abandoned the hot chocolate and starts wailing for it. There are stares. He is inconsolable. I just hold him and he throws a tantrum. The fact that Lindsey will be rejoining us in line with his hot chocolate is lost on him. 
Finally, after someone in the snack bar had to go down to the river to get the hot water for the hot chocolate and then heat it in the slowest way possible and maybe even milk a cow for the whipped cream on top,  she arrives with the hot chocolate. She cuts in front of some people to do it, people who don't know that she actually had already been in line and got bypassed by about 30 other people, and joins us. I almost dare anyone to say something. I would have set them straight real fast. Then the hot chocolate is too hot to drink right away. G cries again. Have I ever mentioned how little patience my boys have? Maybe it is just a toddler thing. Or maybe it is something they got from me...
I give up and tell him "Well go ahead, but it is going to burn your mouth" and give him a tiny sip. He does a full body shake and says "hot!" Um, yeah that's what I tried to tell you. But he's 2, so what do you do? 
I just let him go for it. 
We finally make it onto the train and everyone's happy. It really was fun.
It's after the train ride that I realize why G has been walking so slow the whole night and kept losing a shoe...his shoes were on the wrong feet! No wonder. I just let him go as is. A little late in the game to worry about it now. 
We end up staying at the zoo so long that we just have to get some drive thru dinner instead of the "special" dinner we had planned. Some want Wendy's and some want McD's, so we go to both. Whatever makes them happy, right? They all eat, or don't in Garrison's case, and all fall asleep on the way home. It was silent except Lindsey and I lacking. Much different from the ride up there. 
But the best part of the story was taking both of my boys to the tiny little stalls in the freezing cold bathroom. Three of us couldn't fit into one so Lawson went in one and G and I in the other. The whole time I am hollering over to Lawson not to go out without me and stay close and make sure to wash his hands well and freaking out the he may decide to walk out with out me or someone may grab him while I am helping G tee-tee and taking my turn (darn hot chocolate!). While I am tee-teeing Garrison is playing with the toilet paper. (Keep in mind these stalls are tiny, like the kind you can barely be in while opening the door to get out type.) G is right next to me unrolling toilet paper and putting it onto the floor, or so I thought. Upon standing up I realize he had been putting it into the toilet behind my rear end. Ugh. Whatever, I quickly pull up my fleece lined leggings, as I am literally freezing my booty off, and put the long strip of toilet paper that is half in and half out of the toilet all the way in and flush. Usher him out, wash hands and rejoin Lindsey and the girls. It felt like forever later. It isn't until I get home late that night and go to put on my pjs that I realize where the rest of that strip of TP went. I start to pull of my fleece leggings and out comes a long strip of toilet paper. NO LIE! I had pulled it up with my leggings!!! I remember wondering about that strip of TP and how it was the way it was but being seriously cold and concerned about my 5 year old outside of the tiny stall, who I am hollering "are you ok? Don't you go close to that door! Don't touch things!" at all the while, I was less than concerned about figuring it out. Well now I know. 
I immediately started laughing. Like the border-line insane laugh. Chuck, who was in bed reading, just looked at me. I hold up the TP. He asks "what the heck is that?" 
How do I even explain?! 
But I did, I tell him the whole story. He just shakes his head and laughs. His usual response. 
I can't believe I am telling this story....ok, ok I can as I am not one to keep a good story to myself, but I am quite embarrassed. 

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Modesty or lack thereof

So people have always told me when you have kids your sense of shame, shyness, modesty, whatever you want to call it goes out the window. I have to say for me that was true to a certain extent. I am a somewhat reserved person about many things and not so much about others. It just depends. I am not shy at all. I am slightly modest about some things and more modest about others. I can be embarrassed fairly easily depending on what it is pertaining to.  Having said all that, I must have hit rock bottom since giving birth to two boys and I will tell you why. Last week Lawson and I went to Subway. One of the 5 times we went. No joke, we eat there a lot. It wasn’t super busy so we were just going to sit down and eat but I had to potty first. While they were making our sandwiches (um, yes Barbara knows exactly what Lawson and I want on our sandwiches because it is always exactly the same and consists of no sauces and his is just meat and cheese. Haha. Barb also keeps an eye on him for me:) I let Lawson wait out by the drinks but told him I was going to leave the door unlocked in case he needed me and I go on in. The only  people in there was a group of guys in line behind us but I was pretty sure they all saw me going in. Hmmm.  I am mid tee tee when the door opens wide and a guy is standing there with big, wide eyes frozen. It seemed like he was frozen like that for 5 minutes as I was just sitting there, on the potty, like “um, hey”. It took him forever to snap out of it, but he finally did, said “Um, sorry, sorry” and shut the door. I honestly just had to laugh. I commenced with the flushing, hand washing and worked up the courage to walk outside and he was standing there. He apologized again. I said “Oh, that’s ok. I would have locked it but I didn’t want to leave my little boy out here and him need me and not be able to get in.” I think he said something like, “Yeah, we are just a little closer now. Haha”.

Honestly, I wasn’t even that embarrassed. Truly. I probably should have been. Pre-two kids Shana probably would have wanted to just leave Subway without a sandwich to avoid seeing him but now, meh. No big deal. So what, I mean I even had on a long shirt. I will say Chuck laughed hysterically when I told him about it. Especially that all I said to the guy while he was standing there with the door open was “um, hey”  and gave a little wave.
My children have helped make me who I am today. They have made me stronger and different from who I was before them. The mere act of having them has taught me that some things just don't really matter and we shouldn't let things get to us. Beauty is skin deep, our bodies are merely flesh, and no use crying over spilled milk (or a stranger seeing you pee).
I hope I teach them as much as they teach me.
My Cup Runneth Over!

Spring Break Day 3

Spring Break Day 3: Road Trip
So today we took a mini road trip to pick up T-ball jerseys. As a result, Lawson, Garrison and I are probably now and forever banned from Village Jewelry and Sports. IF we aren't, we should be. There is probably a warning poster hanging in the employee break room (yes I know that there is one, through the door that reads Employees Only, Garrison went in it and I ran in after him) with a photo of me and my two darling hooligans. I imagine the poster reads something like this:

" The Tait Gang.  
Insert picture of adorable little family here :)
 If approached by this lady and two small boys, use extreme caution. They go from calm to typhoon in approximately 60 seconds flat. The youngest of the gang tries his best to break things. Do not allow him access to any breakables, under any circumstances, ever.
The older of the boys should not be allowed access to brooms or broom handles. Do not question why, just do not take any chances with this one.
 If the Mother of the gang attempts to ask you for assistance, feign ignorance or even a lack of knowledge of the english language. If possible, run in the opposite direction.
When in doubt, duck in cover"

This was my first trip to this store. They had a lot of cool stuff and the people were super friendly and helpful. Poor them!
They sell tons of jewelry. I mean lots of glass jewelry display cases. G decided he was going to hit a glass jewelry case, hard I should add, with a hanger the cashier had just laid down. It all seemed like it was happening in slow motion...He hit it, the girl's mouth fell open, I said "Nnoooo" and as I am saying it and grabbing for the hanger he starts to run like the little criminal he is, hitting the display off and on the whole way down, me running after. I am sure it was quite the scene to behold. What was Lawson, the good example Big Bubba doing you ask? Laughing, a lot. Heck, I might have been to if I had not been responsible for it.

I have been jokingly keeping a score as my FB status for the past couple of days, Spring Break VS Me. So far for Monday and Tuesday it was Spring Break-2 Momma-0
Let's go ahead and say
Spring Break-3 Momma-0
Hey, there is always tomorrow. I am pretty sure I am going to make a comeback.

My Cup Runneth Over!!!

Monday, January 14, 2013

A First...and a Last, Hopefully

Today was a  day…a typical day with two boys who are 4 and one and a half. Although it was a very “typical” day, something happened that is anything but typical. At least I hope it will not occur again..ever.  I am going to tell you this, but please do not judge us. Believe me, it shocked me, too. However, it is definitely worth remembering and I am hoping by putting this out there, someone will send me a message saying “Don’t worry, you are not alone. My so and so did this when they were little.” So, I am holding y’all to that. I expect a message in my inbox tomorrow, guys.

Let me set the scene:

I am in the kitchen doing something, I have since forgotten what with all of the trauma of today, and the boys are in Lawson’s room. I hear Lawson go into the bathroom with Garrison following. I didn’t think anything of it as it is a very regular thing. Garrison tends to follow his Big Brother around a lot. Lawson hollers at me “Mommm, Garrison just exploded tee-tee everywhere.” My thoughts: “Hmmm, what?!”    So I hollered back, “What do you mean?!” His response, “He pulled his pants down and tee-teed everywhere.” I stop what I am doing and start thinking  “Ok, Lawson  was just tee-teeing right? Garrison has on pants and a onesie. How did he manage to do that?!” (No I didn’t immediately go in there, I needed time to process. Haha!) I finally make my way in there and Lawson is still standing in front of the potty , Garrison is standing in a puddle of tee tee just playing around like it is the funniest thing. Then I notice the fact that his pants are still on and there is no way he undid his onesie to pull his diaper and pants down to tee tee on the floor, or “explode it all over” as Lawson described it. What the heck just happened? That is about the time that it hit me…Lawson has been really bad about doing something and then blaming Baby Brother who can’t exactly deny it yet. I know he didn’t….but yeah, I think he did. He tee teed on his brother! When I asked him, he denied it. That is when I called in the reinforcements, Daddy. I hollered “Chuck, we have a situation in here.” All the while, I am trying to get Garrison out of the pee puddle and undressed to clean him up. Chuck came in and Lawson tried to give him the same story, Garrison did it himself. Chuck told him if he just told him the truth, he wouldn’t get a spanking this time.  So Lawson, after verifying that a spanking was in fact not in his future, admitted that he did it. HE PEED ON HIS BROTHER. Chuck said, “Son, why on Earth would you do that??!!” Oh Lord, talk about frustrated. Neither Chuck or I had the words. Apparently he was trying to sword fight with someone who was unarmed for battle. I have no idea which part is more disturbing, the fact that Lawson did it and thought it was OK, knew to blame his brother who can’t deny it yet, or that Garrison thought it was funny.

What am I going to do with them?

Never a dull moment at this house…

My Cup Runneth Over