Sunday, December 15, 2013

It's Been A While....Just where did that TP go?!

Well it has been quite a while, but here is a story.
That isn't to say that blog-worthy things don't happen nearly everyday around here, because they do (At least in my opinion) but I just haven't sat down and wrote it all down in a while. Quite a while.
However, my cup still runneth over and I am enjoying every second of it.

Lindsey, one of my best friends and I took the kids to see the Zoo Lights. Rode the train, did some crafts at the parakeet habitat and fed the animals in the petting zoo (all 3 goats that the petting zoo consisted of). We had a blast and so did the kids! 
However, there were a few highlights...
My boys (and I) both forgot their jackets and it was like ice cold. But I did not realize this until we get out at the zoo an hour and a half away from home. We did have gloves though, for what that was worth. I had to put my fleece on Lawson and go into the zoo store and buy a "Montgomery Zoo" fleece for G in size 24 months. A souvenir, I suppose. And what did I tell my poor 5 year old? I said "I bet next time you will remember to grab your jacket when I tell you to." Yup, he's only 5 ;)

 Then we have to wait in line for a good 30 minutes. Lindsey's group of girls were boys, well Lawson was jumping up and down and punching and doing karate and all the usual very excited little boy "stuff". Can't tell you know many times I said "calm down" as he was hitting a stranger with his karate chops. Garrison was a whole other ball of fire. He was hungry, tired and wanted to "ride the train", which he said approximately 102 times. He had about 5 meltdowns, one a screaming "I want hot chocolate" one, in the time we waited. Then of all things, about 30 or so people decide to skip us in line while we were waiting at the little snack bar they had set up, still in the line, for our hot chocolate. I nearly lost it. Person after person just bypassing us, I couldn't take it. So I start "loud talking", "we ARE in line! We are in line!!" One guy stops, looks at me, and shrugs. Seriously! So I snatch up G, tell Lindsey to wait in line and fast walk to get our place saved before 30 more get in front of us. I couldn't believe it!! What is wrong with people?! Oh and at this point G thinks I have abandoned the hot chocolate and starts wailing for it. There are stares. He is inconsolable. I just hold him and he throws a tantrum. The fact that Lindsey will be rejoining us in line with his hot chocolate is lost on him. 
Finally, after someone in the snack bar had to go down to the river to get the hot water for the hot chocolate and then heat it in the slowest way possible and maybe even milk a cow for the whipped cream on top,  she arrives with the hot chocolate. She cuts in front of some people to do it, people who don't know that she actually had already been in line and got bypassed by about 30 other people, and joins us. I almost dare anyone to say something. I would have set them straight real fast. Then the hot chocolate is too hot to drink right away. G cries again. Have I ever mentioned how little patience my boys have? Maybe it is just a toddler thing. Or maybe it is something they got from me...
I give up and tell him "Well go ahead, but it is going to burn your mouth" and give him a tiny sip. He does a full body shake and says "hot!" Um, yeah that's what I tried to tell you. But he's 2, so what do you do? 
I just let him go for it. 
We finally make it onto the train and everyone's happy. It really was fun.
It's after the train ride that I realize why G has been walking so slow the whole night and kept losing a shoe...his shoes were on the wrong feet! No wonder. I just let him go as is. A little late in the game to worry about it now. 
We end up staying at the zoo so long that we just have to get some drive thru dinner instead of the "special" dinner we had planned. Some want Wendy's and some want McD's, so we go to both. Whatever makes them happy, right? They all eat, or don't in Garrison's case, and all fall asleep on the way home. It was silent except Lindsey and I lacking. Much different from the ride up there. 
But the best part of the story was taking both of my boys to the tiny little stalls in the freezing cold bathroom. Three of us couldn't fit into one so Lawson went in one and G and I in the other. The whole time I am hollering over to Lawson not to go out without me and stay close and make sure to wash his hands well and freaking out the he may decide to walk out with out me or someone may grab him while I am helping G tee-tee and taking my turn (darn hot chocolate!). While I am tee-teeing Garrison is playing with the toilet paper. (Keep in mind these stalls are tiny, like the kind you can barely be in while opening the door to get out type.) G is right next to me unrolling toilet paper and putting it onto the floor, or so I thought. Upon standing up I realize he had been putting it into the toilet behind my rear end. Ugh. Whatever, I quickly pull up my fleece lined leggings, as I am literally freezing my booty off, and put the long strip of toilet paper that is half in and half out of the toilet all the way in and flush. Usher him out, wash hands and rejoin Lindsey and the girls. It felt like forever later. It isn't until I get home late that night and go to put on my pjs that I realize where the rest of that strip of TP went. I start to pull of my fleece leggings and out comes a long strip of toilet paper. NO LIE! I had pulled it up with my leggings!!! I remember wondering about that strip of TP and how it was the way it was but being seriously cold and concerned about my 5 year old outside of the tiny stall, who I am hollering "are you ok? Don't you go close to that door! Don't touch things!" at all the while, I was less than concerned about figuring it out. Well now I know. 
I immediately started laughing. Like the border-line insane laugh. Chuck, who was in bed reading, just looked at me. I hold up the TP. He asks "what the heck is that?" 
How do I even explain?! 
But I did, I tell him the whole story. He just shakes his head and laughs. His usual response. 
I can't believe I am telling this story....ok, ok I can as I am not one to keep a good story to myself, but I am quite embarrassed. 

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